How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
