You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
