i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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