What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I touched a dick in church today
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
