I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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