i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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