Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize