We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
