OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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