I hope mine doesn't look like that
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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