u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
