Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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