***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize