I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
