new low.... made out with someone while peeing
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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