Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
