eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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