It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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