they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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