i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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