Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
