just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
