Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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