He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm passing your future prison.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
