HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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