Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Don't make out with my wife yet
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
