Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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