she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
