Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
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well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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