I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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