She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
