Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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