ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize