Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
