I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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