I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
