Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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