Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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