Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
