That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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