At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
