I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
