I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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