she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
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She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
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Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
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