Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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