That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
