it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
