...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Two words: blizzard sex
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
