my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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