my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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