I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
