i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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