I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
