What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
