Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
