I'm lost and stupid without you.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
