Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
