You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
