People in love make me want to vomit
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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