My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
