of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
